Sunday, September 30, 2012

On Becoming invisible

It isn't nearly as difficult as you might imagine.  I still live in the same place, do some of the very same tasks, but I have freed my soul from the hustle and bustle of the internet.

Sure, it could be a copout but in my eyes I was saving myself.  From what?  I would like to say I have an answer to that but all I knew is that I was terribly uncomfortable and something had to give. 

First I needed to figure out what was making me so uneasy.  Low and behold my computer did a swan dive and could not be resurrected this time.  Ok, the first days were not easy, in fact it was like jonesing for a fag....ha ha...I needed to keep in touch.

A few days passed by and what do you know....I was working, doing projects, cooking up a storm.  Ah ha....that was more like it....the old me was emerging.  I liked it.

Facebook became a hostile environment.  Yes, I told myself over and over I liked to  play games.  That wasn't entirely true either; I enjoyed interfacing with some of my long-time pals, checking out new items and reading occasional blogs.  BUT. . . the election season is upon us and the blatant fervor for one candidate or another was totally out of control.  The plight of the animals,(whom I dearly love) is an endless battle.  Homelessness, abandonment, brutality beyond words for a daily diet just didn't digest well.  And everyone had an agenda to sell something, give to this group that group or pass this status on or you will rot in hell.  Nope...not for me.

Sure I have a delete button...and I use it frequently but thinking back...that was the major cause of many of my unstable moments while simply trying to take a break...I felt exhausted ... not unlike trying to shop for Christmas.  I didn't need it...not any of it I'm not an adrenalin junkie.

So. here I am.  Trying to string a group of sentences together.  This is where I started and here I will stay when the mood strikes.  You are welcome to visit any old time.

Life does go on...and I need to catch up to myself that I left behind almost a year ago.  This is Wits End Farm and the events,though boring, are my life.  Welcome to it.  rd