Wednesday, October 3, 2012

I lean this way psychologically, I find something that I like, think it is perfectly doable, tell my family and invariably they shoot it down to the darkest depths.  Now after years and years of this type of feedback you would think I had learned not to SHARE.  I can't help myself, I always hope that I have hit upon something so unique so wonderful that they find it equally exciting.

My mind tells me 'never happen kiddo', they are who they are and you are still you.  People who lack compulsiveness, imagination and daring do have little to offer in my estimation.  Wouln't you think the tables would turn and they'd find something worth commenting on, or at least explore the situation further and offer some positive feedback? I'm dreaming, aren't I? 

What my latest obsession is is irrelevant, its my reaction to the same response....I become despondent and almost always 'drop it'.  Sometimes losing weeks at a time just trying to move on.  I do eventually but this time I just want to move on, next brainstorm I have I will keep to myself. 

I find telling you is almost as good as approval.  Yes, it can be done, it is not outlandish.  Let's look into this a bit further.  This could be feasible....let's check it out. on with my day.  rd.PS still sharing a computer....keeping things short and sometimes sweet.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Happy Fall, Y'All.   I'm not a big fan of fall as such.  Perhaps it is just the area we live in.  Leaves do not generally turn their beautiful hues.  They are green one day and the following are brown and then death of the it tumbles down to the ground.

Rather than beginnings, as I keep reading, it appears to me as an ending.  Having said that, I'm not good at endings or goodbyes.  Unless, of course, it is the dentist drilling, drilling and I scream at him in my brain 'Stop, oh, please, stop".

I look forward to Winter.  This is a favorite of mine and fall is just one step closer to that season.  It too is a reflective season as well as a planning season.  The one hundred days of celebrations has begun, holidays in the very near future and a time to plan ahead.

I'm still enjoying the cooler evenings.  A window open to let the breezes in.  The squawking of the early morning Blue Jays is a great wake up call.  They are the harbinger of what is to come. 

I wish you all a happy Fall.  Enjoy the fruits of fall as well.  I finally found my appleman.  I've been waiting on him for weeks.  I had begun to think the worst, he is quite old and infirm, but there he was on Saturday with his flatbed truck parked in his usual spot bringing the wonderful  produce from the Shenandoah Valley.  Alls well with my little world.

Keep safe, keep warm. rd

Sunday, September 30, 2012

On Becoming invisible

It isn't nearly as difficult as you might imagine.  I still live in the same place, do some of the very same tasks, but I have freed my soul from the hustle and bustle of the internet.

Sure, it could be a copout but in my eyes I was saving myself.  From what?  I would like to say I have an answer to that but all I knew is that I was terribly uncomfortable and something had to give. 

First I needed to figure out what was making me so uneasy.  Low and behold my computer did a swan dive and could not be resurrected this time.  Ok, the first days were not easy, in fact it was like jonesing for a fag....ha ha...I needed to keep in touch.

A few days passed by and what do you know....I was working, doing projects, cooking up a storm.  Ah ha....that was more like it....the old me was emerging.  I liked it.

Facebook became a hostile environment.  Yes, I told myself over and over I liked to  play games.  That wasn't entirely true either; I enjoyed interfacing with some of my long-time pals, checking out new items and reading occasional blogs.  BUT. . . the election season is upon us and the blatant fervor for one candidate or another was totally out of control.  The plight of the animals,(whom I dearly love) is an endless battle.  Homelessness, abandonment, brutality beyond words for a daily diet just didn't digest well.  And everyone had an agenda to sell something, give to this group that group or pass this status on or you will rot in hell.  Nope...not for me.

Sure I have a delete button...and I use it frequently but thinking back...that was the major cause of many of my unstable moments while simply trying to take a break...I felt exhausted ... not unlike trying to shop for Christmas.  I didn't need it...not any of it I'm not an adrenalin junkie.

So. here I am.  Trying to string a group of sentences together.  This is where I started and here I will stay when the mood strikes.  You are welcome to visit any old time.

Life does go on...and I need to catch up to myself that I left behind almost a year ago.  This is Wits End Farm and the events,though boring, are my life.  Welcome to it.  rd