Friday, March 12, 2010

Women's History Month...A woman's Shortcomings EB Browning

A Woman’s Shortcomings

Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1846)

She has laughed as softly as if she sighed,
She has counted six, and over,
Of a purse well filled, and a heart well tried —
Oh, each a worthy lover!
They “give her time”; for her soul must slip
Where the world has set the grooving;
She will lie to none with her fair red lip:
But love seeks truer loving.

She trembles her fan in a sweetness dumb,
As her thoughts were beyond recalling;
With a glance for one, and a glance for some,
From her eyelids rising and falling;
Speaks common words with a blushful air,
Hears bold words, unreproving;
But her silence says — what she never will swear —
And love seeks better loving.

Go, lady! lean to the night-guitar,
And drop a smile to the bringer;
Then smile as sweetly, when he is far,
At the voice of an in-door singer.
Bask tenderly beneath tender eyes;
Glance lightly, on their removing;
And join new vows to old perjuries —
But dare not call it loving!

Unless you can think, when the song is done,
No other is soft in the rhythm;
Unless you can feel, when left by One,
That all men else go with him;
Unless you can know, when unpraised by his breath,
That your beauty itself wants proving;
Unless you can swear “For life, for death!” —
Oh, fear to call it loving!

Unless you can muse in a crowd all day
On the absent face that fixed you;
Unless you can love, as the angels may,
With the breadth of heaven betwixt you;
Unless you can dream that his faith is fast,
Through behoving and unbehoving;
Unless you can die when the dream is past —
Oh, never call it loving

Friday, March 5, 2010

When do Yu Talk to God?

I usually have conversations with God or whoever is that greater power on a daily basis. I also talk to my deceased parents as well. It isn't about asking to have the mortgage miraculously paid or for health issues to be shown their walking papers.I can honestly say that when a situation arises and I know my resources are limited in this area I ask for guidance. "Show me a way".

I don't want to let anyone down, especially myself and play the fool. I do as much as I can on my end to meet my expectations and then I chat with that higher power to guide me in the appropriate direction. Why am I telling you about this....because it isn't working this time. I usually have been shown a path to follow, not always to my liking or expedient as I might like but this time I cannot find a way to accept that I must let go of a friend.

He has been a light in my life for many years. He has made me laugh and cry at his story telling. He always had the right thing to say. Now I cannot reciprocate. Least of all I do not want to make this more difficult on him, he seems to care more about my feelings and thoughts than the torment he is experiencing.

Talk about stiff upper lip....this guy has it in spades. He is indeed teaching me something as his time draws shorter. This is what I should take away from this friendship. But I want to give something back. I don't want to appear weak, yet I know I do.

An online friend just happenchance mentioned Kubler Ross today. Oh, yes, I need to revisit that. I read it when it first was published and found it to be remarkably informative.

It is just ridiculous to try to intellectualize these life changes. We have feelings and they must be released. I am not questioning the why as some do....just the ability to put my sadness aside and be strong for my friend. Take care my friends... Life is short. RD