I recently read a story about remembering an old goat. Never the flashiest, or fastest nor the one to beg for food from humans but his presence was always felt more than seen. He was one of a clan who were rescued about 15 years ago...plenty of time to make an impression. And he did....by his dignity, and quiet manner.
Now why did this story affect me so? Why is it still fresh in my memory days after reading about him? Because I could relate.
Not that I'm ready to pack it in but he and I suffer from the same disease...arthritis. Our lives seem to run parallel in ways that only a fellow traveller could empathize with. Our days of roaming large parcels of land or for me working are essentially over.
I cannot help but think that our new environments are restrictive in many ways,not only square footage. It is a curtain that you are essentially in control of ... will it fall down today or will there be a better tomorrow? Arthritis is funny that way, you never can plan ahead. There are better days and simply awful ones. You cope.
Things you want to accomplish get cast aside for the moment, well, tomorrow will be better. Yes indeed, that is often times the case and you push on. Getting this or that done in the nick of time before things seem to freeze up again. It is not a matter of will it is a matter of 'can'.
This is frustratingly new to me. And I often think I should be finding a way to overcome without getting angry. I need to focus on today no matter how limited my efforts. But unlike the dignified goat I rant and rave and yes there are days I give up.
I have finally found a rheumatologist in these parts. Yes, only by happenchance listening to a conversation in a waiting room did I learn of one. I asked for a referral and got it and am waiting my three months to be seen. See, there is hope.
I learned later that this physician changed his speciality only three years ago seeing the ultimate need in this community for his services. And believe me there is a need and thus the three month wait to be seen.
Since there is the glimmer of hope and perhaps some relief ahead I think I can manage what the goat did.....have a little dignity.
Take care on these icy roads. See you very soon.RD