Sunday, August 14, 2011

Afterthoughts.

Clearly a useless past time of mine.  Afterthinking something that was important at the time but I wasn't quite into the 'give and take' of the situation.  Oh, I used to be a snappy comeback queen.  At least I thought so.  If I could make the opponent shut up that was a victory for me.  Just don't start...OK?



I am no longer that comeback queen....in fact, I barely listen.  This is what aging has done for me....I just don't give a damn most of the time,  Mostly it has 100% to do with the person who is trying to get a rise out of me.  You are familiar to near boring death of what is about to come out of their mouth.  If you do catch a few phrases you are not disappointed ....here we go again.

Lately, in our impoverished state, the argument of most unjustifiable. and unsubstantiated crap is what the cats and dogs eat!  I went out on a limb earlier and began concocting  recipes that I thought would have the nutritional  elements needed for a healthy diet, plus being cost effective. 

When you do this type of thing the initial layout can be an eye opener, but as time progresses and you continue and streamline your efforts; it is not as time consuming nor expensive as canned anything. So I merrily thought this was a good thing....I am told on a nearly daily basis how foolish I am. 

I cannot, for the life of me, understand how in the name of everything that is sacred that this has become a contentious issue.  He, who has no love for animals in general, he who wouldn't be able to detect anything amiss in a cat or dog, has now elevated his status to "master of the animal kingdom". 

Yes, we have gotten 'suddenly poor'....no,never in my thirties or forties did I foresee what the future might bring in the guise of health issues or financial issues.  Would it have been logical to think back then." Oh I want to save the world of homeless animals so I will take them all in no matter what the future brings?"..Of course not...but that is what WE did and now we must make numerous sacrifices to keep up the menagerie.  I might add including adoption.

But this is the issue that has a monotonous refrain day after day.  I cannot stop it, so I simply block it out and continue what I am doing.  Of  course there may be some truth to this argument....if we didn't have cats and dogs we would be better off financially.  My response is .....get another career.  Now that is just as ridiculous.

Sometimes there is light at the end of the tunnel, and then again it too fades.  So you must be up for anything.  Take it or leave it.  And in most instances you do not have that choice...you must do something.  For now our home has been saved...that should be great news.  It is and it isn't....I hate this place, but it is the only place for now.

Bob has taken a great pleasure in telling me daily how really old I am.  Like this is from a spring chicken?  I began taking this to heart...I look in the mirror and see a stranger; one who has aged 25 years at least these past ten unhappy years.  Once it sags....you are sunk....unless you have the means to get it pulled back.  But it isn't just the issue about looks changing its attitude....that changes as well.

I'm not thrilled about where my attitude is taking me or not taking me.  I need an attitude change. Digging deep within me I will either come up with a rose or an empty hand.  It is those days where I don't give a damn that frighten me. 

Here is to digging deeper, finding  a real keeper.  Please be careful out there.  Until next time. rd