Friday, October 23, 2009

A word for Thursday

Main Entry: es·trange
Pronunciation: \i-ˈstrānj\
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): es·tranged; es·trang·ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French estrangir, estranger, from Medieval Latin extraneare, from Latin extraneus strange — more at strange
Date: 15th century

1 : to remove from customary environment or associations
2 : to arouse especially mutual enmity or indifference in where there had formerly been love, affection, or friendliness : alienate

— es·trange·ment \-mənt\ noun

— es·trang·er noun
synonyms estrange, alienate, disaffect mean to cause one to break a bond of affection or loyalty. estrange implies the development of indifference or hostility with consequent separation or divorcement . alienate may or may not suggest separation but always implies loss of affection or interest . disaffect refers especially to those from whom loyalty is expected and stresses the effects (as rebellion or discontent) of alienation without actual separation

This word did not come to mind out of the blue. My daughter, who has been 'estranged' from us for the past six years has suddenly emerged out of the ashes.

I've been taken aback, I am confused. To treat this estrangement as though it was a small matter occurring last week has left me gobsmacked. RD


Bee's Blog said...

My dear friend, I can feel your amazement, astonishment, bewilderment, confusion......... the question is, what are you going to do and how does everyone else in the family feel about this? And are you to accept this bolt out of the blue as though nothing happened? I'm thinking of you. Estrangement is painful.

Jacqui Binford-Bell said...

She, no doubt, went through a lengthy process to arrive at the point she was willing to end the estrangement. You are not given that same chance if she has suddenly reappeared in your life. But that does not say you don't need adjustment time.

Depending upon the reason for the 6 years of being missing from your lives you have every right to feel hurt, used and abused. Like Bee said estrangement is painful but to come waltzing back into your lives expecting to pick up where it all left off can be equally painful and very, very confusing.

My thoughts are with you at this time.