I usually have conversations with God or whoever is that greater power on a daily basis. I also talk to my deceased parents as well. It isn't about asking to have the mortgage miraculously paid or for health issues to be shown their walking papers.I can honestly say that when a situation arises and I know my resources are limited in this area I ask for guidance. "Show me a way".
I don't want to let anyone down, especially myself and play the fool. I do as much as I can on my end to meet my expectations and then I chat with that higher power to guide me in the appropriate direction. Why am I telling you about this....because it isn't working this time. I usually have been shown a path to follow, not always to my liking or expedient as I might like but this time I cannot find a way to accept that I must let go of a friend.
He has been a light in my life for many years. He has made me laugh and cry at his story telling. He always had the right thing to say. Now I cannot reciprocate. Least of all I do not want to make this more difficult on him, he seems to care more about my feelings and thoughts than the torment he is experiencing.
Talk about stiff upper lip....this guy has it in spades. He is indeed teaching me something as his time draws shorter. This is what I should take away from this friendship. But I want to give something back. I don't want to appear weak, yet I know I do.
An online friend just happenchance mentioned Kubler Ross today. Oh, yes, I need to revisit that. I read it when it first was published and found it to be remarkably informative.
It is just ridiculous to try to intellectualize these life changes. We have feelings and they must be released. I am not questioning the why as some do....just the ability to put my sadness aside and be strong for my friend. Take care my friends... Life is short. RD
3 comments:
I know what you mean...when I don't know what to say I usually just hold their hand.
I have a friend that was into taking dogs to hospitals and for a while I thought it would be a really great thing for me to do with Magique. So I went with her a couple times to see how it was done and took Magique to the training classes.
I soon realized that Magique knew how to do it. She was born knowing how to do it. Me what who needed training. Magique can just walk quietly up to someone that needs her warmth and sit so quiet and then lay her head across a lap or arm and stay like that as long as needed.
It isn't what you say. It is just being there. Watch your cats and dogs when you are sick or upset. They are our teachers with life and death. My god often talks to me through them.
I thought about this and thought about it but there aren't any words of comfort or consolation when one is in your position. Hard though it is, be there.
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